"When I was young"

When I was young I was told that I was not enough. When I was young I was told I was too much. When I was young I was told to just be myself. When I was young I was told it was bad to be different. When I was young I was told if I didn’t tell people what they wanted to hear they wouldn’t be your friends anymore. When I was young I was told it’s bad to lie. When I was young I was told white lies were ok. When I was young I was told I was too sensitive. When I was young I was told I was too hard.

I guess you could say I grew up to be very confused with what I should and shouldn’t be as a person. I always felt like I didn’t know what was expected of me and even if I did it felt like it was never enough. Between my peers, society, family and teachers, the messages I received were very conflicting.

Things I wish I could tell my younger self.

It’s ok to be you.
Being different is a good thing.
Your feelings are valid and real.
Do what feels right for you.
Stay true to yourself.
You have all you’ll ever need within yourself.

When I get asked how did you turn this around. Well it’s simple. If I didn’t I wouldn’t of survived. With therapy, mindfulness, support from loved ones and finally having my own back, I did it.

I went to university, I started my own charity, I help people, I became a mother and most of all I became my true self. I’m not going to lie, some days it’s difficult to be me. My brain still plays tricks on me. My mental illness can still over ride my new pathways. All in all I have more good days than bad. Being honest, authentic and becoming curious within ensures I chose me.

We all have an inner ninja within us. What does yours say to you?

Live, breathe, embrace;

Stefani Clavey